Friday, September 24, 2010

viii of swords

again I am a pathetic sorry ass
even after trying to do the right thing
I suddenly grow tired
of playing the maid of my emotions
and after your every question
like a skip in a broken record
I am stuck in the groove of
blurting out the wrong answers
that hurt you in the right way

this has happened so many times
I hear your angry responses
like the lines from a familiar rerun
I can almost mouth your part
word for word
and playing my role
I apologize like the script says
but instead of forgiving me like you're supposed to
you are sickened by me

its too late its too late

and then I cry
like I cried in bed so often
when I was young
sent to my room by my
screaming stepdad
because my pathetic sorry ass
can't learn to grow up

my heart longs for the day when the cycle will end
when I stop feeling bad about myself
when crying stops becoming second nature
when love doesn't have to be conditional

1 comment:

  1. The cycle will end when you have the tools to end it. When the cycle has ended, you will get the love you want and need, and not the bullshit conditional love.

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